now with more nudity! (not my own)
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/

Roxane Gay: “Why I Hate Writing about Janay Rice”

"And, of course, we have rather grand and indulgent ideas about what women in abusive relationships should do. We have opinions about what we would do in her situation, as if our hypothesizing bears any resemblance to lived experience. She should leave him, we say. She should press charges. She should get a restraining order. She should go to a shelter. And when a woman doesn’t make the choices we approve of, she, rather than her abuser, must bear the responsibility for her suffering.

We demonstrate so little empathy or kindness for women in abusive relationships. We don’t want to hear real stories about what it’s like to endure such relationships. We don’t want to hear how love and fear and pride and shame shape the decisions we make in abusive relationships. We don’t want to hear the truth because it is too complicated. We leave these women with nowhere to go. We force them into silence and invisibility unless they make the choices we want them to make.

In a perfect world, yes, a woman should leave an abusive relationship. She should have the emotional, physical, and financial means to do so. She should be supported by law enforcement and the justice system. She should receive counseling and emotional support. She should be given safe passage to a new life. The perfect world is made up of so much should.”

Detective: Hi, I’m Detective Smith. I’m calling about your case and to check up on you. Have you had contact or are you still with Mr. Logan*** since the arrest?

Me: Thanks for calling. No, in fact I’ve moved upstate and I’m never going back to him. That’s a promise.

Detective: I’m very glad to hear that. And I really hope you don’t waver. Too often in these cases, the woman doesn’t have a chance to leave again. I’ve seen it far too many times. Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to call me if he contacts or harasses you. You’ll get through this.

Me: *tearing up* Thank you. I will.


***name changed to protect the guilty

(Memory from over three years ago. I’m almost through it.)
Reblogged from meaghanmayhem  410,050 notes

Sex is not a goddamn performance.

Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.

It should not require confidence.

Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.

Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.

You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh.

It’s not about being “good in bed.”

It’s about being happy.

One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.

What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you.

Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.

Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be.

I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.

I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want.

It’s originality.

It’s passion.

It’s joy.

Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.

I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.

“Good in bed,” what.

You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you.

Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel.

This isn’t a test.

By via skwyrtle from reddit. (via nikolaiolivier)

Did you notice the homogeneity of the non-supermodel women they chose, they're all the same build, and curiously all white

Yes, they’re all white. I did notice. Unfortunately this is not uncommon in advertising. Yes, they have similar builds, the type that are not well represented in media. I understand your point, I just think it’s a bit of a stretch to say it is indicative of a pro-eugenics stand.